Odes to Andre Breton – the remix, h.264.8

Rolling, rolling Thunder, low riding Crickets
Sun peaking, as Geese hissy fit
Beats to abide by, the heat that flies by
The remix waits on stand by
Scratching the Achilles is good luck
But the fat fridge won’t move anymore
Caffeinated allergies, sedated BP levels
Comb the monkey – it’s VIP time

The greatest goal I ever scored

I played forward in soccer. I scored plenty of goals – tap-ins, PK’s, headers, volleys, lucky, brilliant, mediocre and one unforgettable one. This is the story of that unforgettable goal, written by my teammate and very good friend 8 years ago. I saved it for a reason.We’re still friends for a reason.

Let me summarize. I scored a goal 8 years ago. My friend who played alongside me, wrote about that moment and sent it to everyone on the team. I saved it. I sometimes read it if I was having a bad day. I also joked I would tell my (future) son about this goal. I wasn’t joking about that – and lately I’ve had plenty of bad days.

Taken by another dear friend - drinking on the soccer sidelines

Taken by another dear friend - drinking on the soccer sidelines

So here is the story. A story about me, about great moments, about taking risks, about the unexpectedness of life and the love of friends. Oh, and the beautiful game. Enjoy…

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Part 4, Walter the Warthog and the Big Apple

Want to the know the back story on Walter? Click HERE.

Want to read Part 1 of this story? Click HERE. Part 2, HERE. And 3, HERE. Otherwise, enjoy…

Walter must have turned around 20 times to wave goodbye to Sonny. As he headed to Central Park and Sonny got smaller in the distance, the clouds above began to arrive. It had gone from a bright sunny day to an afternoon headed for showers. Walter picked up the pace a little and the wheels on his big, heavy suitcase turned and turned and squeaked and squeaked. He sped across intersections, ducked behind a cab and narrowly avoided a bunch of dogs and a dog walker. And finally, as he entered the beautiful and enormous Central Park, the first rain appeared. A big, round wet raindrop crashed onto the sidewalk.  “Uh oh,” Walter gulped. This time Walter pushed his big, heavy, noisy suitcase like a shopping cart and headed to the closest wooded area of the park. The large raindrops multiplied and Walter entered an area of trees to find a small but dirty pond.  Only a few drops got into Walter’s area, much to his relief. The trees were thick and their branches helped form a protective canopy, almost like an umbrella.  A shy skunk walked by and whispered “hello.” A brother and sister frog leapt into the pond and started doing the backstroke. A small goldfish leapt out of the pond, spun in the air, and yelled “Hey you over there!”

“Me?” Walter thought. “Yes” the excited, but poorly looking fish said, leaping out of the water once again. Walter walked to the edge of the pond and the fish swam to the ledge and rested its head on a lily pad. “What are you doing in the park?” the fish wondered. This day had taken another twist, but Walter explained his odd journey to this point, including the people he had met and his quest to make it to his hotel. At the end of his description, Walter extended his hand and said, “I’m Walter the Warthog, pleased to meet you.”  The little fish extended its tiny fin and replied, “It’s a pleasure, my name is Frankie the Fish.”  The rain continued to fall outside of the tree canopy. The occasional drop of rain snuck past the branches creating little circles in the little pond. Walter sat down to rest his feet and Frankie just stared at him.

A couple of minutes passed and Walter felt a little uncomfortable with a fish staring at him. “Are you okay?” Walter asked. “Not really,” said the now depressed fish.  “Not many people come to visit me anymore.” Walter the Warthog and Frankie the Fish talked for sometime. In fact, they talked for so long that the storm vanished and the sun reappeared. Big rays of light came through the canopy and big drops on big leaves glistened.

Walter learned that recently, Frankie’s home had become polluted by visitors in the park throwing trash into the pond. Frankie started to experience headaches and some of Frankie’s friends who would used to drink from the pond, now drank elsewhere. No one wanted to drink dirty water.  This was Frankie’s home and it made him feel ill. Frankie was sick, alone and out of ideas. Walter pondered this. There had to be a solution. Walter thought about this further, until a large racket interrupted both he and Frankie’s thinking.

A large school group was coming through the park on a nature tour. The kids must have been 8-9 years old and there were probably 50 of them. About 8 adults made up of teachers and parents were circling the kids as if they were trying to herd cattle. An idea struck Walter like a bolt of lightening. “I’ve got it,” he said to Frankie. “Wait here, I’ll be right back.” Frankie didn’t argue, he had very little strength to do so. “Okay” he feebly mumbled. And Walter bolted away, leaving his big old suitcase safely under the canopy of trees.

Frankie sort of just floated in the polluted pond and hoped Walter’s idea was good.  His head was pounding and he just wanted his water restored to what it used to be.  So Frankie just hung out for a bit, hoping for the best – keeping his fins crossed.
Walter’s journey was short. As he left the canopy of trees and Frankie in the pond, he immediately encountered the very excited school children. He approached one of the adults who seemed to be in charge. “Good Afternoon” Walter said. “Hi there, Warthog,” the woman replied. “I was wondering what class this is?” Walter questioned. The woman responded that this was a variety of grades, mostly 3rd and 4th graders that were here to explore the nature of Central Park. “That sounds very exciting” Walter replied.  “It is,” the woman said, “We try to get these city kids to understand that there is more to the Big Apple than just buildings, cars and lots of people.” Walter smiled at this, he knew he was on to something.  He took the teacher aside and made more of formal introduction. The teacher’s name was Mrs. Kelly. She was a 4th grade teacher – her favorite subjects to teach were science and geography. “Kids today need to understand the importance of our environment,” she concluded. Walter chimed in, “I want you and your students to meet a friend of mine.  He’s in trouble and could use your help.”

Mrs. Kelly quickly organized all of the students with the help of the other teachers.  It was an amazing thing to watch – Mrs. Kelly herded all of the students into a quiet, organized group. She was obviously a great teacher. The students all stood in a line, very well behaved.  Walter led them to the pond. Every now and then Walter would let out a snort he was so excited.

The parents, students and our Warthog made the walk very quickly. They entered the canopy to find the pond with the lone, sick fish swimming around.  The kids were excited to see the fish, but Frankie couldn’t give much of a welcome. He managed a quiet “Hello everyone.” The kids roared “HELLO MR. FISH!!!!” It was so loud that it created ripples in the pond.  Walter chimed in, “You can call him Frankie.”  The kids roared “HELLO FRANKIE THE FISH!!!!”  Frankie couldn’t hide his smile and more ripples traveled across the pond’s surface.

Mrs. Kelly gathered everyone around the pond. The kids sat on the ground in rows and looked up at their teacher.  Walter stood next to Mrs. Kelly and Frankie swam to the edge of the pond and again rested his chin on his favorite lily pad.  “We have an important job to do,” she told the students.  “Because of pollution, Frankie the Fish has become very sick.”  Some of the students looked confused. One of them raised a hand and asked what pollution is.  Mrs. Kelly praised the student for such a good question and explained that pollution is a process in which our natural environment is harmed.  “Look at all the trash scattered everywhere, this is no place for a fish or anyone to live.” The students became very sad.  “But we can do something about this,” Mrs. Kelly said.  All of the students looked up with big, wide grins.  Walter predictably snorted.

The plan was simple.  Mrs. Kelly sent a couple of parents to buy some rakes, trash bags, gloves and so on.  The rest of the afternoon Walter, Mrs. Kelly, parents and teachers, and 50 little kids cleaned up Frankie’s habitat. They filled over 30 trash bags with cans, potato chip bags, candy bar wrappers and other junk.  They even took time to separate items that could be recycled again.  At the end of the day, the area was spotless and beautiful.  Frankie was overwhelmed and incredibly grateful. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he said to all.  “We’re not quite done,” said Mrs. Kelly. “When we get back to the classroom, all of us are going to write letters to the Environmental Protection Agency and State Senators urging them to clean the water in your pond. “No one can resist 4th graders,” she added.  Frankie did an underwater somersault, leapt into the air and yelled “Thank you everyone!”  The children with massive grins, took a deep breath and yelled, “You’re welcome Frankie the Fish!” Frankie laid on his back and let the ripples carry him across the pond.

Mrs. Kelly came back to shake Frankie’s fin and hugged Walter. Walter let out one of the loudest snorts since his arrival in NYC. All of the kids hugged Walter – as you can imagine, it was a snort fest. It got so loud, Frankie swam to the bottom of the pond. The kids eventually left and Frankie came back up to the surface. He couldn’t stop thanking Walter. In fact he thanked Walter so much that Walter turned red with embarrassment. “I’m happy to help a friend,” Walter said.

It was late in the afternoon and Walter still needed to check in to the hotel.  It wasn’t far now. “I’ve got to get going Frankie.” “I understand,” Frankie said.    The fish and warthog said their goodbyes and Walter promised to visit from time to time. “You’ll be better soon Frankie.” And with that, Walter left the pond and canopy and headed back into the city. Walter’s stomach started to grumble, he was hungry, again.

Part 2, Walter the Warthog and the Big Apple

Want to the know the back story on Walter? Click HERE.

Want to read Part 1 of this story? Click HERE. Otherwise, enjoy…

Tears, snorts, hugs and laughter were shared at the airport as Walter boarded the British Airways 747. Both of his parents were at the airport, even Willie and Woslo had shown up from Paris and lots of people from the village. Although sad, Walter’s best friend, Carlos the Crab had arrived and was up to no good.  His favorite thing to do was to tickle people.  There were a lot of tears, but a lot of laughter.  It took Walter forever to say goodbye to everyone and as he strolled onto the plane he let out a tiny little tear.  As the plane took off and slowly climbed to 35,000 feet, Walter smiled and thought of all the people he was going to help working for the United Nations. He fell asleep, snoring very loudly.  Zzzzz, snort, Zzzzz, snort.

7 ½ hours later, the plane landed at JFK and Walter awoke. A few of the passengers on the plane gave him some strange looks because of the snoring. Walter just smiled at them and let out a snort.  He walked off the plane and headed to customs where they checked Walter’s passport and work permit.  “Everything’s in order Mr. Warthog, enjoy your time in New York City,” the customs officer said.  “Thank you ever so much,” Walter replied.  From there Walter grabbed his luggage and stepped outside the airport. “Oh my goodness,” Walter muttered to himself.  Outside of the airport it was total chaos. Busses, cars, taxicabs, busy people running around – Walter took a deep breath and thought. “I need to get to my hotel.”

When Walter accepted the job offer, he was told that a limousine would pick him up at the airport and take him directly to the hotel. Walter would check in, perhaps do a little sightseeing, get a good nights sleep, and report to work the next morning.  After all, he had a lot of important work to do for the United Nations. As Walter looked around outside of the airport he saw a limousine parked about 100 yards away. That had to be his limousine he thought, it was the closest one.  Walter trudged down to the limo with his luggage, saying hello, smiling and snorting as he passed other travelers and reached the limousine.  The limousine was very long and shiny.  He opened up the back door, threw in the luggage and sat down in luxury.  The interior was spotless and beautiful. There was a television, video games, refrigerator, sunroof, snack bar, you name it! “I must be the luckiest Warthog alive!” Walter said.  He sat there patiently, reviewing some the paperwork the United Nations had sent to him.  The flight had been long and Walter was still tired.  He had been up very late for his going away party and slowly, very slowly, Walter drifted into a deep sleep in the very comfortable limousine. Zzzzz, snort, Zzzzz, snort. Walter was fast asleep.

When Walter finally awoke from his nap, he found himself in a big garage with other limousines. “Oh my goodness,” he said, “This isn’t the Crown Plaza Hotel.”  He quickly gathered his stuff and got out of the limo. There were limousines everywhere, it seemed like they went on forever.  Walter headed to the very end of the garage where it looked like there might be an office. Luckily his big suitcase had wheels on it.  A few minutes later, he arrived and entered the office but no one was there. He went outside and saw someone that was cleaning a limousine. “Excuse me sir, is there no one in the office today?” Walter questioned.  “Not at the moment buddy, they’re all on break.”  Walter thought about this, how did this happen?  “Well which way is the Crown Plaza?”  The man stopped cleaning and laughed. “The Crown Plaza, in Manhattan?” “It’s thataway” And the man pointed, chuckling.  “Thank you for your help” Walter responded and nodded respectfully. So with his big, heavy suitcase on wheels, Walter started walking in the direction the good man had pointed. The Sun staring right down on him.

STAY TUNED FOR PART 3

Part 1, Walter the Warthog and the Big Apple

Want to the know the back story on Walter? Click HERE. Otherwise, read on…

Walter is the hero of this story. He was born in the south of England. It was far from the city and was tucked away in the quiet countryside amongst old trees and rolling farmland where youngsters could explore. His home was an old stone farmhouse with a pond in the garden. On top of the house sat a thatched roof. During the summer Walter would climb onto the roof, stare at the stars and fall asleep, snoring away. He dreamed of flying across the sky and looking down on other thatched roofs.

Just down the country road, after a couple of bends and past a tiny waterfall was his school, the Tall Hedges Academy. His school was very small but had a very diverse group of students. Aside from a few humans, some of the other students were frogs, tortoises, horses, badgers, slugs and so on. In fact, Walter’s best friend at school was a crab named Carlos. Carlos’ family had moved to the south of England from Mexico when he was little. Why would a Crab family travel all the way to England you ask? Carlos’ parents were members of the Mexican government and had important business in England’s capital, London.

What type of animal was Walter you might ask? Walter was a Warthog. His teachers called him, Walter the Warthog. His best friend Carlos, was addressed as, Carlos the Crab. In fact, most people in the village had names like this. For instance, there was a Tilda the Tortoise, Sammy the Slug, Horris the Hedgehog and Betty the Butterfly. Humans do the same thing with a first and last name. Like George Washington, Nelson Mandela or Hermione Granger.

Walter the Warthog was a fun loving warthog. He cared about everyone he came across in life, it’s one of the reasons he was so popular. His favorite thing to do when meeting someone was to hug them really tight. He would be so happy to meet them, he would snort uncontrollably. Usually he directed the snorts into someone’s ear. This would make them laugh. Most of the time, everyone around him would be laughing.

Walter the Warthog was the youngest of three Warthogs. Winston, his father, was a famous chess player and could beat any computer at chess. His mother Winnie was a tremendous gardener. Winnie grew the biggest carrots in the south of England. Walter’s older siblings were Willie and Woslo. Willie and Woslo were twins and became chefs. They lived in Paris, France and co-owned a restaurant called La Snort-Snort. Walter the Warthog loved his family. Willie and Woslo would call home and tell Walter jokes over the phone. This would make Walter snort loudly into the phone. Eventually the entire family would be snorting. It was a snort fest.

Well as time passed in Walter’s world in the south of England, it became clear to everyone that he was very good student. He was always at the top of this class and excelled at every test he took. The Headmaster of the school, Dr. Oliver the Owl, recommended that Walter attend the University of Oxford, one of the best universities in the world! Walter’s friends and family were incredibly happy for him. They threw a big party at the farmhouse where everyone in the small village attended and his mother even made Walter’s favorite soup, carrot-berry. At the party, Walter made Carlos the Crab laugh so much that the carrot-berry soup came out of his nose! Walter was so excited about his new opportunity that he must have hugged everyone at that party three or four times each! There was a lot of snorting and laughing to be had.

It was both a sad and exciting day when Walter said goodbye to the village. He was a little down because he was leaving his family and friends. BUT, he was the first Warthog ever accepted to Oxford, so Walter was also extremely excited. Walter’s four years at Oxford, flew by. His favorite subjects were politics and anthropology. Politics studies with how countries setup their governments. Anthropology is the study of all human beings. Walter always loved people – of any shape, size, or color. He loved to hug and snort in their ears. The mix of politics and anthropology was a perfect match for Walter. Walter was very smart in other areas as well. He became very fond of art and through many of his courses became quite good at foreign languages. He of course already knew English and had learned Spanish from his best friend, Carlos the Crab. But because Walter was such a serious student, he suddenly found himself speaking French very well, as well as Portuguese, German and Dutch! He even surprised himself, but no one back at the village seemed shocked. Walter had been the smartest student in school, ever. So it came as no surprise to the people in the village, that Walter had many job offers when he graduated from Oxford. The British government desperately wanted Walter to work for its immigration department. There was an animal rights group that were very eager to hire Walter. In fact there were several other companies and agencies interested in hiring Walter the Warthog – all had been pursuing him during his last year of studies. In the eyes of Walter, only one job offer stood out. It was from the United Nations working as an advisor to the Secretary General. Walter accepted their offer and thus began a new chapter in his life. A new start that would take him all the way to New York City.

STAY TUNED FOR PART 2.