I sometimes get texts from friend’s asking for air travel advice. I’m always happy to oblige. The time has come to drop some of my knowledge.

It's going to be ok

Some of my tips are common sense, some are unorthodox, but all have gotten me to from point A to B with a smile on my face. And you all know how much I like to smile. Here are my 10 tips. I hope they help, but mostly, I hope they make you laugh.

1) Get a frequent flier membership with your airline. Yes, it accumulates points. But at the very least, it protects you from being bumped by someone else that has a membership. Airlines always shaft the non-members first when comes to overbooked flights or the standby list. Join their club, it has its perks. There’s an easy way of not getting bumped up the A.

2) Check in online beforehand. Pounce 24 hours before check in and get the best possible seating options. I always opt for a window seat. More on that later.

3) Don’t check baggage. First of all, if you are, you’re over packing – unless you’re moving to Alaska or something. Secondly, you’re sh*t will get lost. I once crashed a SouthWest Airlines Convention and learned a lot. Trust me.

4) If you have to check baggage, make up a story about its contents. Say it has something breakable in it or your Grandfather’s ashes. The airline staffer will either put a Fragile or High Priority tag on it. Basically, the 25 outfits you packed for the weekend will be waiting for you when you land.

Definitely don't say you have firearms

5) Please treat the Security Checkpoint like a time challenge. You owe it to yourself, fellow travelers and Homeland Security. Throw your watch, change, jewelry, belt, phone, etc., into your backpack or purse. Untie your shoes beforehand and attack that line. Breeze through like a pro – you can put on your $120,000 Patek Philippe watch after emerging from security. Don’t be that person that triggers the metal detector machine 8 times. Or leaves a belt on. Also, always go through the Expert Traveler line. They never check your creds.

6) If you need to self medicate when traveling, go with liquor. Beer or even wine drinkers will be urinating all flight. Stick to a good bourbon or if you need a mixer, a Vodka Cranberry is mighty refreshing. You don’t want to make multiple trips to the aircraft bathroom. I mean, who does? Especially since you’ll be in a window seat.

7) Always board early. Create an excuse if you have to. Say you have something breakable in your bag and you want it safely stowed. Tell them you’ve never been on a plane before and you’re afraid you might get lost. Go with you gut. Your goal here is to get on the plane and not have to put your bag under your seat, or god forbid, have it stowed 8 rows behind you. That is the worst. If anything, you want it in the overhead a couple of rows in front of you. This allows you to swoop it out with ease as you’re exiting. A seamless exit strategy.

8 ) Always get a window seat. It affords the best views. And unless you’ve have had (4) 22 oz beers (and ignored Tip #6), you should be able to avoid using the restroom. You can also lean your head on the window and sleep. Let’s review – there is no need to get out of your seat. So don’t. And honestly, let’s not bother with the small talk either.

One of the perks of a window seat

9) Determine what you need while in your seat. Have that handy and throw it in the seat back holder. You’ve already boarded early because you said you’re in the military. Get your bag put away, grab your headphones, iPad, xanax, gum, etc., and sit yo @ss down. Make yourself at home, you’re not getting up for anything. Heck, you can even take your shoes off.

10) Sit back, relax and listen to some music. I recommend Elton John’s Rocket Man – the perfect flying song. Or you can just reflect and think “Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.”

Now I’ve missed a lot of tips here, including -

How to get an upgrade?

What to do if a flight is cancelled?

What to do if the person next to you picks a scab on their neck and it starts bleeding profusely and he dabs it with his airline issued pillow (this actually happened to me)?

So I’ll follow up on that. In the meantime, what tips do you have for airline travel?

The tree went up today. There’s added excitement with OIiver and his two-year old outlook on life. And I’m a big kid anyway, so I’m all for it. Lea and I put it all together and O did his best to disrupt the process. Along the way, I got to hang my favorite ornaments, which is what this post is all about. My favorite 5.

I’m a sucker for Elvis. Especially any gospel music by Mr. Presley. BUT, when it comes to Christmas music, give me some Blue Christmas by Elvis. So good. This ornament is a new edition this year. Courtesy of Garden Ridge. Yep, I went there.

Elvis Presley, Blue Christmas

Did you know I like planes? Well I do. Especially vintage one’s that Pan Am might have used. I look at this ornament and think about taking a trip to Calcutta. Why not? This was a gift a couple of years ago from my friends Barry and Vic – Pottery Barn – classic, classic present.

Let me on this flight!

I only have one robot ornament. But it’s my #1 choice. You can’t go wrong with Star Wars over Christmas (in fact, Oliver and I watch the original trilogy every year during this time). But I know the tree is in good hands with R2 in it. I’m sure it’s why all the bulbs work. He can fix anything. Lea bought me this from Target this year.

R2-D2 Beep Beep Beep

If you didn’t know, I also like to take photographs. This ornament is a reminder of that, and another recent purchase from Target. I also like to pretend it’s a Leica Camera…because maybe a real one will end up under the tree?

Not a real Leica

Hard not to think about Sir Stirling Moss driving the wheels off this thing. Another wonderful gift from Barry and Vic – this has front and center status in our tree. Now if Sir Stirling would only stop by for Christmas Dinner. He could meet Oliver Sterling…and get to taste my trifle.

Come for dinner Sir Stirling Moss!

Those are my favorite ornaments. Here are a few I would like to add for 2012 -

- Fab 5 Freddy
- Ernest Hemingway
- Salvador Dali
- Something Lego related
- A RobotoWear ornament
- Old Gregg from The Mighty Boosh
- A Citroen D

What are some of your favorite ornaments?

Since my first flight (even the one to Newark), I’ve been fascinated by and in awe of flying. I still get apprehensive during take off and landings. I always look up at the sky to identify passing planes. I love the history and panache of Pan Am. I keep up with airline industry. My first “May I present to you…” series was about Harriet Baskas, a wonderful writer about….airports, travel and more. And when I do fly, I spend a lot of the time, looking out the window, 6 miles in the air, zooming at 500 miles per hour.

Looking out the window...

I enjoy the alone time on a flight. I always get a window seat. I listen to music, play video games on my PSP, work and read. But I always have one eye on the window, and my camera handy. It’s amazing what the world looks like at 30,000 feet.

I love my blues

I’ve taken hundreds of these shots. And of course I upload them to Flickr, including contributing to a couple of really cool groups. From the Airplane Window and Window seat please, both include shots from above, from travelers all over the world. It’s amazing what people capture just from an airplane window. It reminds me I have a lot more to see in this world.

In my career, I’ve worked a lot with video, web development and online strategies, but I always find myself coming back to the still image and most of the time, Flickr. Maybe I’m old school or I like the simplicity of a single framed shot. In the case of sitting on a plane, I guess I want to make sure I’m not going to forget a unique experience.

Chunks of ice below

I’ve been slightly inactive on Flickr recently because of the new job, bad weather and lack of travel. In the next month or two, I hope to become more active on Flickr, including some new projects. You’ll still get my standard window shots, views from my hotel room, clouds, and all the other predictable pics I capture. But, I am working on some new things, including video. So stay tuned.

By the way, if you have any suggestions, I would love to hear them.